Physics Homework

Have you done it?

Ms McDonnell was our physics teacher in the third year (age 14). She wasn’t too bad as a teacher, but she was out sick most of the time, and we had substitute teachers who knew nothing about physics.

— 1980 —

About the only thing I remember from Ms McDonnell’s class was Archimedes’ Principle.

The upthrust on an object totally or partially immersed in a body of liquid is equal to the weight of displaced liquid.

— Archimedes

As usual, I did no homework or classwork all year. Like… none at all. But I was almost the only one who remembered anything in the final exam. John got 57%, I got 70%, but the class average was 34%.

Ms McDonnell accused me of cheating and reported me to my form teacher. Mr Gooden checked my books and asked me some physics questions to check. I had done precisely zero homework for the entire year, but I hadn’t cheated.

When he found I hadn’t done any work, he made me sit down and do a whole year’s worth in a couple of weeks. After the end-of-year exams every year, we had two or three weeks with no work to do. Instead, we played games in class or went outside to play football. But this year, I did physics instead.

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Mr Gooden made me spend those last few weeks doing physics instead of playing outside with my friends, and I sat at the back of his chemistry class to catch up on the work I had skipped.

He was teaching an older class to prepare them for university, and they barely knew anything, so he asked me after every question.

Gooden: “What’s the by-product of fermentation?

Silence. No one knows.

Gooden: Kevin?
Me: Carbon Dioxide, sir.
Gooden: Well done, Kevin.

Gooden: What is that carbon dioxide used for?

Silence.

Gooden: Kevin?
Me: To pressurise the kegs, sir.
Gooden: That’s good, Kevin.

This went on for several days. I knew all the answers, and they knew nothing.

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I could’ve easily done A-level physics or chemistry when I was 14, but that wasn’t an option. My only option was two more years of boredom and getting the cane.

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